Can you feel it?
by Aisling44
Summary: "No matter what, she's always had the ability to stand up and fight. Until now." After the author disappears with the quill, everything for thie citizens of Storybrooke is a blank page. In the moment when everything seems to crumble, Killian tries to find the right words to keep hope alive. CS AU set after 4x20. I don't own anything but the idea.


She never stops.

If he knew something for sure, it's that anything could prevent her from fighting, from going through obstacles: that's what she always did since he got the chance to know her ( _I've yet to see you fail_ ). No matter what, she's always had the ability to stand up and fight.

Until _now_.

When he saw her, she was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, head lightly bent on a side while she stared at the void. He remembered the tremble in her voice when she'd called him to tell him about the author, the panic transpiring from her words despite her attempt to sound calm ( the little break her voice had when she had told him that everything could change at any moment betrayed her), and he remembered his heart skipping a beat before he rushed to her. Damn, how things changed in less than an hour.

They had searched for them, they had tried to figure out where that crafty being could be hiding with the crocodile, but in vain: they seemed to be nowhere to be found and the more time passed without knowing where to look , the greater the _fear_ , the more he was likely to lose control. But in the loud loft, where everyone was trying to find a way to escape from that dead end, she just sat there silently , away from everyone.

Ignoring everything else, he slowly approached her, and when she didn't even look up to glance at him, he let himself fall to her side on the floor.

"Wherever they are, it can't be out of Storybrooke. We'll keep searching." He said tentatively, trying not to upset her more then she seemed, but he wasn't expecting an answer. Besides, he was well aware that no joke he could find would lighten the situation.

Silent moments passed between them, the voices around overlapping when she finally spoke, so softly it sounded more like a whisper.

"Will we remember?"

He turned to look at her with a questioning expression, waiting for her to go on.

"When everything changes" she says a bit louder, still not looking at him "Do you think we would remember any of... _this_?".

She just knew. She knew that everything they could have done to stop whatever the crocodile had planned,time would have been against them. She knew, God _he knew_ it was not the time to pretend everything would be fixed, not anymore. And that was exactly what she was doing: she stopped pretending.

He opened his mouth to tell her everything would be fine, but he was suddenly aware he couldn't: he didn't know what the hell was going to happen and that _scared_ him. It actually scared him more than death, and yet, that was the truth. It was time to stop living the fairytale.

 _The irony._

"I don't know."

For a moment, she seemed to shiver next to him. She was giving up and he couldn't do anything to stop that, just because he was too.

 _I hope it's my job to protect your heart._ Gods, if he'd meant it.

He breathed deeply, then he spoke again, "Give me your hand."

Finally, she turned to look at him, a defeated expression tracing the lines of her face while his heart clenched at the sight.

"Put yours on mine." He said again, opening his right hand in front of her. She looked at him for a few moments more, before reaching out and lying her palm on his. Killian stared at their joined hands for a while, he couldn't help enjoying the feeling of her soft skin on his, but noticing she was still looking at him, waiting for him to say something, he went on.

"Close your eyes."

She opened her mouth to say something, say that it was not the time to try calm her, but at the sight of his lips curving up lightly and his eyebrow raising, she gave up words and did as he'd said.

"Can you see this?" He asked her a few moments later, his thumb tracing the side of her hand.

"Killian-"

"Just answer me."

She gave up again (she was already giving up on everything).

"No, I can't." She answered the obvious, a bit of annoyance in her voice that made him smile. She was always so stubborn.

Eyes still closed, she suddenly felt him interlacing his fingers with hers, slowly caressing the back of her hand, and she couldn't help the smile that curved the line of her mouth. Then, he spoke again.

"Can you _feel_ this?"

He didn't even bother asking her to answer again; the little, soft laugh she let out at his words answering every question he could have. She opened her eyes, a ghost of a smile still in her lips while she looked at him, "Get the point."

He smiled then, keeping his hand in hers and glancing briefly at the chaos that was filling the loft before turning his attention to her again. He didn't know what the author would use that bloody quill for. Didn't know where or who they were going to end up to be and he didn't know if at the end he would even know who Captain Hook was.

"We're not just a few lines on a blank page as they want us to be, Swan" he started slowly, locking his gaze on her bright green eyes as he spoke,"there will always be a way to find each other."

At what she thought was an attempt to reassure her, he saw her lower her gaze and press her lips together in a tight line, loosening the grip on his hand while the voices all around became louder and closer. _Not this time_.

He went on anyway, his words more like whispers, as if he was about to let out something just for her.

"Because even when we can't remember how to see the truth, we can't forget how it feels like."

She was looking at him now, eyes wide open before she saw him glance at the scene behind them. A soft, slightly sad smile curving the corner of her lips while she looked at her mother cradling the head of her brother, his father and Henry sitting on the floor, the storybook in front of them and a worried expression that mirrored the one everyone in there had in that moment, _together_ trying to find a way to remain so.

She wasn't ready to lose that, bad moments or good ones, she couldn't. And what she heard next made her realize she probably wouldn't.

"Love is something we can remember even with closed eyes, Emma."

She turned slowly in the silence that fell between them after those few words, tears slowly blurring her view unexpectedly.

When did she become this weak? Crying was never her thing, she'd always managed to get over things and stand up, and yet, she was still sitting on the floor, defeated at the point she wasn't sure she could even hold words like those she had just heard. Maybe that was because she knew it was over, that once it started there was no coming back... And he was there trying to make her feel like everything was going to be just fine and it wasn't. And she was going to crumble right there in front of him because of that.

A whispered laugh escaped from her lips instead. Tears were running down her cheek but she couldn't help the smile that was growing further on her lips. At the end, that was the very unexpected thing.

Still smiling, she leant forward to reach him, placing a soft, lingering kiss on his lips while some last tears ran down her cheek. After a few moments, she felt him kissing her back, his lips caressing hers like a silent promise, a simple gesture filling her heart with all the hope she had lost in the last hours.

She pulled back slowly, resting her forehead on his and opening her eyes while his were still closed. She smiled briefly before she whispered a few words on his lips.

"Can you _feel_ this?"

He laughed at that while his hand reached out to dry her tears in a tender way, his heart warming at the sound of his own words said from her.

He didn't care, whatever they'd end up to be (or wherever), he knew that somehow they would find a way to put all the pieces back together.

"I don't think I could ever stop, Swan."

And the smile her saw growing on her lips, told him she _knew_ that too.


End file.
